Identity Crisis!

So what's our family name? I'm not sure. I'm legally a Carter, I go by Dimond and James is an Anderson. No matter what the name...we are a family.

The consequences are....

An essay! The LEMA Enforcement Committee served me with a letter describing the punishment as a 3 page essay, double spaced, times new roman, 12 point font, 1 inch margins addressing the following bullet points:

• The progress you made in the first 2 weeks, highlighting specific benefits
• How you came to violate the 2011 LEMA contract
• Why it is wrong to breach the contract
• How you are going to prevent future violations, with specific emphasis on preventing a future violation with (name withheld) :)
• Do you believe this punishment was appropriate
• What is the appropriate punishment for another violation

I completed the essay and turned it in. Thankfully Clint responded and rewarded me with a night of babysitting his kids. They were very helpful in getting my Christmas decorations put away...yes on the 21st of January I had a Christmas tree up still.

The 21st was also James' 11th birthday. He spent the weekend with his dad and uncle. So what did I do with a whole day and no child? All the things an 11 year old boy doesn't want to do with his mom. I got a manicure and pedicure and went to the movies. James is usually my movie buddy but he prefers action over chick flicks so I saw what I wanted to see. I ate sushi for dinner and came home and watched 2 more movies. No schedule to stick to and it was fabulous. Freedom was once again attained with no men to stress me out or hurt me. So as another week begins I will focus on exercising to release those endorphins that are supposed to make you naturally happy.

Eat Pray Love I suppose

Well it wasn't quite as easy as I thought it would be. I slipped up but I will keep pushing forward. I went 6 days with no contact and then day 7......one man sent me a message of which I responded to remind him of the agreement I signed....then I couldn't stop myself. I sent an IM to my ex. I miss him. I love him. I felt a sense of familiarity with him that I've never felt with anyone else and I can't let go. I can miss him but I need to let him go and I'm trying. I have the capacity to love so much. And so much of that love is for James. Are all 10 year old boys negotiators? Or have I created my own little sales person? So I spent much of this week doing things for myself and that included...losing 3 lbs, starting book 2 of the Hunger Games and getting my hair done. So as I sit here right now watching the movie Eat Pray Love...I'm more excited about finding myself and being free to experience so many wonderful things. Through my thoughts this week I have also decided that smiles are the universal language. No matter what, a smile can be understood by anyone who sees it.

And so our journey begins for 2011

It's day one of our journey. It's the first day of 2011, so what better time to start. James and I have had some challenges and so we will make some changes. One being that mom (me) has been through her share of relationships. Some good, most not so good. So now it's time to say goodbye to men for a little while and just focus on us. I'm number one now and James is right here with me. So maybe this sounds a little silly, but there is actually a contract in place of which I am accountable to all of my siblings. I will have no contact with men beyond family, church or professional relations. This includes male friends and past boyfriends and husbands (yes plural). This contract is in place until May 31st, 2011. Some may say this is unattainable for me as they say I'm "addicted" to texting. I say NO WAY! I can do this and I will. So, day one was successful and we are on track. There is so much more to this story but we have lots of time and I will share more as our journey continues.....