Go Jazz!

James went to his first Jazz game this past week. My company took us and James LOVED it! He ate it up.....half time we were invited back into the booth for nachos and popcorn but he wanted to get right back down to the game. It was a fantastic game....the Jazz won after going into overtime. James is still loving playing basketball. He has 2 games left for the season and then it's back to soccer again. Work was a little stressful this week with layoffs but I made it through. Now to the weekend to recover with one hour less than usual. I love that spring is coming. Makes me want to take tennis lessons or something fun like that. But I will busy training for the Ragnar Relay....YEAH!!! I'm so excited!

It's a Girl!

Our newest family member has arrived. Meet Gabby, born on December 30, 2010 (yes that's my birthday too). She is so sweet and playful. She loves to cuddle and tease. I honestly feel like a new mom. Her first night home she found her way into a little hole that took her under the dishwasher. She couldn't find her way out after that. So she spent 2 hours under there until Uncle Clint came and saved the day. He had to remove the panel on the bottom to get her out. I stayed and kept her company the whole time. She did take a couple of naps too. But I felt like such a bad mom...I only took my eyes off of her for a second. It was kind of like the first time your baby falls out of the carrier because you didn't buckle him in (come on...I'm not the only mom that's done that). We named her Gabby because she talked all the way home. She is all gray with hazel eyes and weighs about 2 lbs. We're so happy to have her in our family.

Family Room Make-Over

So I've finished my project. As you can see from the pictures, it was a pretty blah room before. So I've added some color and moved the tv out of my room and into the family room. This has caused me to want to re-do my room next...it needs some color as well. So anyway, here are the results.

Rainbow Connection

So this really funny story keeps coming to mind and it's lifting my spirits so I'll share. So if any of you can remember when I dated RJay....you have to know he is a VERY laid back guy and their may or may not have been some substance involved that caused him to be way laid back. So picture this.....he's in his OLD geo tracker with the top down. One hand on the steering wheel, one arm on the door and he pulls up to a stop light. He has the Rainbow Connection blairing on his mp3 player and he's singing it to the car next to him. :)...I should probaby mention that the Rainbow Connection is sung by Kermit the Frog and John Denver. Why are there so many songs about rainbows....and what's on the other side. That image just makes my day!

Almost unbelievable!

I finished my family room this week. Thanks to Clint and Danielle' for helping put furniture together and hang mirrors.

James had a basketball game..I can never tell if they are winning or losing but it's still fun to watch. He enjoys it and that's what matters most.

It was a fairly good week until Saturday. I was contacted anonymously by an ex-girlfriend of a former husband. She shared a lot of strange information about this former husband..some of it almost unbelievable. I'm in state of shock right now, so much of the information was contradictory to what he seemed to be or what he wanted me to believe and some of it may have put my own health at risk. I know none of this is my fault but it hurts to realize a relationship was all based on lies. The love I felt was real but who was it for? None of it seems real...and maybe this sounds dumb but I wasted a marriage on him...ugghhh. He accused me of not being able to be alone which was one of the driving forces behind the LEMA contract. For me it was to prove him wrong. But he accused me of something he isn't even able to do. I'm still going to do it for me. I need this time more than ever to heal. No other guy will have a chance right now...I've been lied to and betrayed and this has caused me to lose trust in men. On a brighter note, he is out of my life forever and I am free of the lies he told. My bishop helped me see things a little clearer today and as hurt as I am, I need to forgive him.

Busy busy...

This week was very busy with a couple of things. Basketball, visiting teaching, cooking dinner, and re-doing the family room. I threw cooking dinner in there because anyone who knows me knows I don't cook very often beyond chicken nuggets. However we set a goal not to eat out at all this week and to cook dinners. This also included work so I brought my lunch every day. And we met our goal. I'm so proud!! James started the week off pretty sick. Sunday he started with a fever and it lasted until Tuesday night coupled with a sore throat. Poor kid...didn't eat much but he did enjoy the gatorade and pina colada sobe. I also started the week off thinking I would paint all the walls in the family room blue. I quickly changed my mind after I got the samples up on the walls. It looked like a disney play house. So I think now I'll do one wall a very light blue and find a different, more conservative color for the other walls. Of course I'll post pictures once it is finished. I didn't realize how boring that room was until I started adding colors to it.
I also wanted to share an epiphany I had this week. I was driving to work one morning and just started crying as I was thinking about how cheated in love I felt. I have loved a couple of men so deeply and felt so cheated because that same love was not felt in return. My thought was I just wanted a man who loves and cares about James and I and will ALWAYS be there. What made me cry was when I realized that I already have that. Heavenly Father is the one man in my life that will never leave, that always loves me no matter what, never judges and truly cares about me and what happens to me and that I'm happy and the list goes on. It's not the same as having an earthly companion that can be here physically, but he's got all the attributes I need to not feel alone. He not only meets but exceeds my needs. As I took the sacrament today, I even thought of how he sacrificed his only son for me. I still long for that earthly companion that feels that way about me, but as I start a new week I feel rejuvinated and ready to go through another week with Heavenly Father on my side.

Identity Crisis!

So what's our family name? I'm not sure. I'm legally a Carter, I go by Dimond and James is an Anderson. No matter what the name...we are a family.

The consequences are....

An essay! The LEMA Enforcement Committee served me with a letter describing the punishment as a 3 page essay, double spaced, times new roman, 12 point font, 1 inch margins addressing the following bullet points:

• The progress you made in the first 2 weeks, highlighting specific benefits
• How you came to violate the 2011 LEMA contract
• Why it is wrong to breach the contract
• How you are going to prevent future violations, with specific emphasis on preventing a future violation with (name withheld) :)
• Do you believe this punishment was appropriate
• What is the appropriate punishment for another violation

I completed the essay and turned it in. Thankfully Clint responded and rewarded me with a night of babysitting his kids. They were very helpful in getting my Christmas decorations put away...yes on the 21st of January I had a Christmas tree up still.

The 21st was also James' 11th birthday. He spent the weekend with his dad and uncle. So what did I do with a whole day and no child? All the things an 11 year old boy doesn't want to do with his mom. I got a manicure and pedicure and went to the movies. James is usually my movie buddy but he prefers action over chick flicks so I saw what I wanted to see. I ate sushi for dinner and came home and watched 2 more movies. No schedule to stick to and it was fabulous. Freedom was once again attained with no men to stress me out or hurt me. So as another week begins I will focus on exercising to release those endorphins that are supposed to make you naturally happy.

Eat Pray Love I suppose

Well it wasn't quite as easy as I thought it would be. I slipped up but I will keep pushing forward. I went 6 days with no contact and then day 7......one man sent me a message of which I responded to remind him of the agreement I signed....then I couldn't stop myself. I sent an IM to my ex. I miss him. I love him. I felt a sense of familiarity with him that I've never felt with anyone else and I can't let go. I can miss him but I need to let him go and I'm trying. I have the capacity to love so much. And so much of that love is for James. Are all 10 year old boys negotiators? Or have I created my own little sales person? So I spent much of this week doing things for myself and that included...losing 3 lbs, starting book 2 of the Hunger Games and getting my hair done. So as I sit here right now watching the movie Eat Pray Love...I'm more excited about finding myself and being free to experience so many wonderful things. Through my thoughts this week I have also decided that smiles are the universal language. No matter what, a smile can be understood by anyone who sees it.

And so our journey begins for 2011

It's day one of our journey. It's the first day of 2011, so what better time to start. James and I have had some challenges and so we will make some changes. One being that mom (me) has been through her share of relationships. Some good, most not so good. So now it's time to say goodbye to men for a little while and just focus on us. I'm number one now and James is right here with me. So maybe this sounds a little silly, but there is actually a contract in place of which I am accountable to all of my siblings. I will have no contact with men beyond family, church or professional relations. This includes male friends and past boyfriends and husbands (yes plural). This contract is in place until May 31st, 2011. Some may say this is unattainable for me as they say I'm "addicted" to texting. I say NO WAY! I can do this and I will. So, day one was successful and we are on track. There is so much more to this story but we have lots of time and I will share more as our journey continues.....